A Band of Brothers-Why male friendships, i.e. Bromance is Important

A Band of Brothers-Why male friendships, i.e. Bromance is Important

Who does not enjoy a good bromance movie? From Saving Private Ryan to My Dog Skip to Boyz in the Hood and The Godfather; there are many films that allude to the importance of cultivating relationships among men. Since the creation of colleges, there has been a presence of fraternities. Their organizing came from an organic space of realizing that life long friendships are important. There are historical examples like Jonathan and King David from the Bible that demonstrate that point even thousands of years ago. No matter where you may look there are many male relationships that demonstrate loyalty, compassion, accountability, and love.
The health benefits of friendship include a longer, balanced, and healthier life. Plus, being a good friend makes your life more fun, interesting, and easy to manage. Being a good friend also teaches you how to not be as selfish and realize that community is important. Another health benefit of friendship is that when you have even one best or close friend, your attitude and ability to deal with stress and problems is greatly increased.
TO even my surprise in researching I have come to find out that even spending time with an intimate partner does not provide the same health benefits or social outlets as friendship. So even having a girlfriend, wife or partner does not complete the social picture, life demands more. To be a balanced person you must have more than that, multiple complex relationships challenge you to be the best you. Good friends offer a different kind of support than lovers, siblings, parents, or other family members do. Good friends provide a different level of understanding and communication -- and this positively affects your health, wellness, and attitude. Strong feelings of connectedness is another health benefit of friendship.
Stressed-out hamsters with skin wounds who were paired with other hamsters healed faster than those left alone to heal. The hamsters with friends also produced less of the stress hormone cortisol, which has negative effects on mood and immunity. You may not be a hamster, but the effects are transferable to human friends. If you are depressed (yes, men get depressed), recuperating from being sick or having an illness, or stressed you will heal and manage faster with friends. This is an amazing health benefit of friendship.

Researchers have not figured out exactly how, but friends boost your immune system. The best of friends (a.k.a. your crew) help you relax, take a deep breath time out, provide wise counsel and remember to keep life in perspective. The connection and relationship you feel when you are with your friends boosts your feelings of hope, faith, and belief that things will be copasetic. Friends provide comfort and companionship, laughter and honesty. A strong support group can also keep you motivated and revitalized with every life encounter. This is why it is important to know how to be a good friend, so you are not just taking.



A strong support network is not just about emotions and feelings. A huge health benefit of friendship is moral support. Practically speaking, when a friend accompanies you to a sports event or an event where you are being honored or a performance, you will likely experience lower blood pressure and a slower heart rate. Friends can be the anti drug.
So sometimes even watching a good comedy with friends and laughing gives even more benefits for example, laughter reduces the level of stress hormones like cortisol, epinephrine (adrenaline), dopamine and growth hormone. It also increases the level of health-enhancing hormones like endorphins, and neurotransmitters. Laughter increases the number of antibody-producing cells and enhances the effectiveness of T cells. All this means a stronger immune system, as well as fewer physical effects of stress. Friendships really can add to your life in so many ways that we take for granted (next post will deal with comedy and laughter, look for that).
SO THERE is one war television miniseries that is about bromance, Band of Brothers that I really like. It chronicles the relationship between two WWII paratroopers especially AFTER they survived war and became friends. The interesting parallel is that as black men in America, there is a social war that you are a part of. It is imperative that you choose your friends wisely and make them on purpose. You may not be in a bunker waiting for a bomb to hit, but you are in the dorms where you may get the walk by racial slurring or feelings of being ostracized and having a core group of men you can connect and talk to about your experiences are important for your emotional survival. Racism -- real or perceived, covert or overt -- can have an immediate impact on a person's well-being.
So even if you do not feel it in your everyday life, I can promise you its effects are present. If you can see yourself as a soldier with fellow soldiers and not a bystander or casualty, then you will get through life and maybe not have a book written about you, but you will have a book worth of experiences and relationships that tell the story of your life. Life made better by the love and network of male relationships.

Geronimus AT et al. "Weathering" and age patterns of allostatic load scores among Blacks and Whites in the United States. American Journal of Public Health. May 2006. 96(5): 826-832.

Mays VM et al. Race, race-based discrimination, and health outcomes among African Americans. Annual Reviews of Psychology. 2007. 58:24.1-24.25

Williams DR et al. Racial/ethnic discrimination and health: findings from community studies. American Journal of Public Health. February 2003. 93(2): 200-208.